The E.T. Times

Today, at school, we were given the assignment of writing a one page faux news article, about anything, set in anything, etc. Essentially, free-write a news article with a partner. The reason that it lacked guidelines was that it had a different purpose to it, but after reading through the article, I thought it was rather amusing, and that some others may find it so too.

My friend and I decided that it would be cool to have online. Obviously, being unedited, there are likely a fair number of errors - of all sorts. It did take a fair while to type up, but here it is:

The E.T. Times

Emily Kwong & Haneef Mubarak
Saturday, December 27, 2016

Yesterday evening, armed penguins were sighted marching down the streets of Vladivostok and Leningrad. Corroborating reports also came in from Kiev and the Exclusion Zone near Pripyat. They appeared to be carrying RPG-7's and AK-47's and were dressed in purple hard hats and matching maroon uniforms.

Citizens of the cities had allegedly sighted the penguins taking over military bases in the areas before they were evacuated over concerns of safety.

The United Nations Security Council convened an emergency meeting last night regarding the matter and is still in session. As of this morning, NATO also chose to convene an emergency meeting regarding how to take action on the proceedings of the current events.

The Pentagon is exploring all possible solutions to the problem at hand. United States Navy Fleet Admiral Henry Matherson made a statement today,

"The Penguins have not made or replied to any of our communications except to identify themselves as 'The Antarctic Militia'. We are extremely concerned about the situation due to the existence of live nuclear missiles situated at the bases near Vladivostok and Leningrad. We are investigating all potential actions with our allies at NATO and are hard at work attempting to restore communications links with the Russian Government and the Russia Military."


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